Webster defines "motherhood" as such: "a female parent... maternal tenderness or affection." The word itself could loosely be understood as an instinct... a sixth sense that comes about when mother and child are introduced. Here is his definition for "fatherhood": "a man who has begotten a child." Kind of cut and dry isn't it? I'm not suggesting that Webster is the expert in defining all that is fatherhood, but he's right on in regard to how clueless I feel as I contemplate my place in the life of my child. I seem to be less concerned with our relationship during his older years (4 +), but it's those baby years where I'm lost.
He's due to arrive in a month and I have become very good at imagining all the selfish things. Like how I can't wait to share with him the greatest of stories, teach him to play the guitar, or the joy of buying him his first glove and indoctrinating him with the key to success - always keep your eye on the ball. I'm well aware that the Dr. Laura’s would caution me to not relive my life through my kid and I have no intention of doing such. To be honest, these are the kinds of ideas that I keep thinking about. My time is far less consumed by considering what my first course of action is going to be when his first fever comes. However, I've done research on what a good rifle would be for his first hunting experience, yet I'm ignorant to the most effective brand of diapers or medicine. I'm not even sure how to hold a newborn. I've always said, when a baby is screaming bloody murder in the grocery store or waiting room, "oh, no, not my kid - never... if that were my kid I would...," yeah, this is me eating my words again. Will my "instinct" come, or do I learn to take part in caring for my son by trial and error? I recently started realizing that things are going to be messy. The hallmark picture of father and son is nice, but all of a sudden it looks as though rashes, no sleep, and poop are soon to be my new milieu. I'm sure I'll figure some of it out, and I'll find a way to get over the weird smells. In the meantime I suppose I should try purchasing a Dr. Laura book or something and continue digesting my words.
3 comments:
It's an exciting experience and you will find your way (with or without Dr. Laura). I have pictures of Scott changing Kody's diaper for the first time. (very funny stuff). I just can't wait to see that little fella. Don't you just want to know what he looks like? It's amazing how you can love another human being so much and you haven't even seen what he looks like.
Can't wait.
Don't worry, Dathan. Look around you, most just do the best they can. The others have zero clue. We are all just faking it.
Wait a minute.... I've been a parent for a decade and I still feel like I'm playing house sometimes. Shhhh... The kids think we know what we're doing.
There are some good books. Love your wife. Take care of her. The first couple of years are more mommy time, anyway. Age two--dad kicks in.
My brother says that changing a diaper on a squirmy baby is like ropin' a calf. That's about right.
It'll be fun and tiring. You don't know tired. Enjoy your sleep now, that's my last piece of advice!
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